Close To My Heart
by yellowy
Summary: Cyborg's death affected everyone. It brought Raven and Robin closer as they felt more comforted around eachother. When the villian who killed Cyborg returns, how will Raven and the Teen Titans react and what will happen?
1. Chapter 1

Rob & Rae Story

Chapter 1 :

Raven stood letting her cloak fly in the wind. She hated it when there was a warm breeze. She loved the cold. Ever since Cyborg's death, Raven has been getting up every morning at six am, but that night she just couldn't get to sleep. Maybe it was that she was afraid that she would have the same dream as she always does. It was the same scene as at Haso Square, where Cyborg died. Replaying in her mind his death, Raven couldn't help but think it was her fault. If only she hadn't bothered to heal herself, she would have gotten to Cyborg quicker. She heard the door to the attic close behind someone. Looking around she saw Robin. The sunlight was hitting his hair sleeked back and his smooth skin.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Raven said calmly.

"Why are you up?"

"I couldn't get to sleep."

"At all?" He asked.

"Nope."

"Were you cold? Hurt?"

"No, no, no, just couldn't get to sleep."

"Is something on your mind?"

"No," Raven lied. There was a deep silence only interrupted by the sound of wind passing.

"This is about Cyborg, isn't it?" Robin asked hugging her. She had accepted the fact that Robin liked her but thought that she would never like him the same way. She was wrong. Terribly wrong. She loved him deeply. His mysterious mask, tight clothes and powerful limbs. She loved him alright.

"You can talk to me, you know that right?"

"Yes, thank you," Raven said leaning against his chest holding onto his arm as if he would float away if she let go. She was distraught. Utterly destroyed. Robin comforted her and she felt slightly better knowing her was holding her close to his heart.

"I just feel like it is my fault," Raven said sobbing gripping onto his shirt.

"It wasn't, it was Red X's fault. He hurt Cyborg and then finished him off. No one could have prevented that."

"Thank you Robin."

Raven still felt terrible and sad. She remembered how a few years ago she fixed his car with him. And how he had gone inside her mind. Cyborg was one of her close friends. He was too nice like an over-protected big brother.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Robin lead her down to the kitchen where they sat at the counter. Raven sipped her tea as Robin drank down his coffee. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was four am. Robin got up and offered her some breakfast she was in no mood for pancakes or anything else. She felt so flammy, if that's a word. She felt like a helpless lump.

"Are you sure?" Asked Robin.

"Huh?"

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"

"Oh, no, no," said Raven sipped her tea. "Thanks though."

Raven appreciated what Robin was doing, he was being sweet and very understanding. Robin flipped a pancake sending it into the air. It landed in the pan. He flipped it again and it landed on the floor. He giggled and picked it up and put it on his plate. He put his finger to his mouth and then grabbed a fork. He sat next to Raven as she finished her tea.

Starfire walked in sometime later.

"Friends! Oh I am joyed to see you are up!" Starfire said with red eyes possily after crying. She ran over and hugged Robin and Raven.

"Star, are you OK?" Raven asked.

"Yes, friend Raven, I am now. You are most comforting," Starfire said hugging Raven again. It seemed almost all of the team were miserable.

"I was unable to sleep once more," Star said.

"Me too," Raven said rubbing Starfire's back. Soon Beast Boy came out slumped and immediately went to his gaming consol. Without saying a word he began to play while the other controller sat on the sofa. There had been no robberies or anything this last week since Cyborg's death. The Titans were in no mood to go out in public anyway. Soon, Starfire went into her room and Beast Boy fell asleep on the couch. Robin was tidying up the tower while Raven decided to go for a fly. She loved flying, it was one of the only things she could smile at now.

Without saying goodbye or telling them where she was going, Raven took off heading out to sea.

While flying mindlessly, she could feel the sea spray on her face and then she could hear the gentle wave collapsing on itself in the middle of the ocean. Raven flew, around everywhere. She could only just see the tower when she turned around. Her whole body felt numb. It seemed like it was in a trance. A nice trance. She felt so calm. She flew just on top of the water's surface as the sun rose. Touching it with her fingers, she sighed.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthose," she mumbled.

Lifting up, she flew straight up with her eyes still closed. Doing a complete circle, she flew full speed at the horizon. She wished there was an end to it, where she could go, and only her. A secret spot where she could lie on the surface of the water forever. But there was no such thing. Besides she had her duty at the tower with her team. Not that she hated it, but she did need change once and a while.

When Raven stopped in mid air, it was not because of the heat, a wave or sudden realization, it was because there was a dark figure infront of her standing on water. He was slender, tall and marked with a large, red X on his black suit.

"Hello Raven," he said in a deep haunting voice. He smirked as he crossed his arms.

Raven almost fainted. She flew back a bit in astonishment. Shivers ran down her spine and her whole body tingled. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand. Her fingers twitched and her mind was completely blank. Unable to move Raven stared as everything around her turned into darkness, everything except a large fat red X.

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How was that? Please Review with any suggestions!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Raven couldn't do anything. She saw him, _him. _A cold blooded killer stood infront of her, calmly as if nothing happened. She could see his eyes, just. They were brown-black. Dark, OK?

Raven could hear his feet stepping closer to her on the water surface. She wasn't moving, no any more. Her mouth was held slightly open.

"What's the matter?" He asked leaning forward whispering.

Raven remained quiet.

"You surely expected me?" He said.

Raven shook her head. What should she do? Her legs didn't feel like they existed.

"Come with me, Raven," he said creepily.

"No!" She said fleeing. She flew as fast as she could. When she looked over her shoulder, he wasn't there. When she turned back around she expected him to be waiting. He wasn't he had vanished. Her skin crawled. He disappeared. She still had the same cold, flammy feeling. Her arms weren't working. She could fly but her eyes wouldn't stop darting around. He was defiantly there. She saw him in the flesh. He walked towards her and spoke in his voice. She couldn't have imagined it. It was too real. Even if it wasn't real, she had a strong feeling he would be returning.

She couldn't fly fast, her eyes were watering too much.

Her breath was short and her panting became 'stuttery'.

"No," she whispered. It couldn't have happened, there was no way he was there, he is in some distant place and never returning. She hoped.

Her muscles were tense and her legs bent. Her flying wasn't a flow or a nice relaxed one as usual, it was horrible and nerve-racking.

Would she tell Robin or the others? No. They wouldn't believe her. They would completely ignore the fact that she might have actually seen him for real.

Raven saw the tower in the distance. A thin T shape.

Her mind went blank and she landed at the entrance of the tower. Before she entered she squinted her eyes and then wiped away any signs of tears. How could someone do anything like that to Cyborg or ANYONE?

Sick minded people were people who the Teen Titans saw everyday, robbers and people who desire everything. Those were SICK people. People who kill for no reason and really have no purpose in what they are doing, those people are unexplainable. They never care at how much one person's death affects everyone.

Raven walked into the tower and headed straight to her room. Passing Beast Boy, he looked more gloomy than she probably did. He looked at her and then asked her if she was alright.

"I'm fine," said Raven trying to act calm.

"You might want to look in the mirror," said Beast Boy passing. Raven was confused. When she got into her room she looked in her mirror and saw nothing except her fragile, pale face. Turning her head, she saw why Beast Boy was so stunned. There was a large X on her cheek close to her ear but down a bit. It was black and looked like ink the way it spread into tiny nooks of her skin. She went into her bathroom and tried to take it off with water. It didn't come off. She touched it again. Shivers ran through her and her breath shortened. Her eyes became twitchy and her hands started to shake. She dropped the mirror afraid to look at it and lay on her bed quietly sobbing. She couldn't help it. The person who murdered her beloved friend had talked to her and walked towards her. It felt like Red X had touched her cheek and his dirtiness was seeping into her skin. She suddenly felt unclean and dizzy. Her mouth felt bound and her shoulders felt stuck. Her neck was crooked and her knees tucked into her chest.

Raven felt like throwing up. When she brought herself to sit up, she grabbed the mirror off the floor and looked again in the darkness. It was spreading for sure. The X had become a splodge and had become a circle taking up the area of the X. Her nerves were shivering and it felt like her bones ripped apart from eachother. Her head was spinning. She let out a yelp, then a scream. Her eyes became darty again. Holding onto her knees sitting on the edge of her bed. She threw her head back and screamed as it felt as if there was a tree root growing through her jaw, muscles and teeth.

There was a loud knocking at the door. It was Robin's voice.

As soon as she heard Robin's voice, it seemed that the pain had died down was dying down still. He knocked harder and repeatedly asked if she was OK.

She got up and tried to walk. He legs fumbled as she fell hard on the ground. The last thing she remembered was moving the door with her powers and opening it. Robin rushed in and fell to her side. She then remembered only the darkness that swarmed her mind.

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	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Robin called Raven but she didn't respond. Robin swore a picked her up. Her fragile body was limp and almost cold or seemed so. Robin stumbled in the darkness. He carried her threw the doors and supported her head. Starfire had gone out and Beast Boy was in his room. Robin placed Raven gently on the couch. She wasn't coming back to her senses. Raven had a large circle of darkness that looked like it was contaminating her veins. One led up to her mouth like a swivel of darkness. Robin had no clue what to do.

He knelt beside her and held her hand. She was colder than usual but still quite warm like there was still some life left in her. Robin ran and got some water to put it to her lips.

Raven wasn't drinking it. Robin put it down on the table and cleared her hair from her face. Raven was still.

Her face looked pale and motionless, lifeless. Robin didn't know what to do so he stayed beside her, not letting go of her hand. He made sure she was still breathing by occasionally checking her pulse. He didn't know what was wrong with her.

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Raven dreamt in her long 'sleep' about swimming. She didn't know why or when but she knew she was swimming. Continuously taking stroke after stroke, Raven surfaced and took a deep breath. Her lungs held onto the air for just about dear life. Raven dipped under the surface of the water and opened her eyes. She saw nothing but the water around her slowly getting darker.

She surfaced again.

After doing a loop of this, Raven felt an itch. She scratched her leg. And then her arm. She scratched her stomach realising that she was wearing her clothes, but not the cloak.

She was itchy everywhere. Soon, she became thirsty. Her eyes were stinging and her arms were tense. Her image was fake, but the pain she felt was real.

Her limbs were all numb and she defiantly couldn't feel her toes.

Raven continued to feel pain in different ways before she heard a voice.

"I can make it all go away," the voice said from around her.

"How?" Raven said dryly in between pants. "Tell me!"

"I can't," it said. The voice was loud and male. "But I can show you."

Suddenly a whirl pool appeared infront of Raven. Swinging, Raven felt dizzy. Her hair was going everywhere. She pummeled into the water's depths and soon floated underwater which soon turned into space.

She could breathe but she couldn't speak. Her mouth was still dry and she was still itchy. Her limbs ached and her skin was still hot. The pain hadn't gone away.

"I must show you now," the voice said. Raven looked straight ahead and saw Robin being handed over by herself to Red X.

"No!" Raven said. "I won't do it!"

"You must or the pain will _increase_," said the voice. Just on the word increase, Raven felt more pain. Her bones felt like they had all been broken into little bits. Her mouth felt like it had a swollen, dry tongue in it. Her eyes felt red and looking out of them, everything seemed to be doubled. Her legs felt inexistent. Her mind seemed like it was sinking away into nothing. Her mouth seemed to be able to get out one last sentence.

"Not him… me, anyone but him," Raven spat out.

"OK, Raven, I'll take you, but when you change your mind, let me know, OK?"

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Robin awoke when suddenly Raven sat upright from the couch. She was breathing heavily and looked very scared.

"Raven!" Robin said instantly standing and clearing her hair from her face.

"Robin," she whispered. Raven stared at him and looked like she had seen something odd.

Robin got her the glass of water and asked her to drink it. She held it but didn't drink it. Raven was alert and looked insecure.

"Raven…" Robin said looking at where the patch of darkness used to be.

"What?" Said Raven calming down.  
"Your cheek…"

Raven felt her cheek and then Robin passed her a mirror. Looking in it, she saw that there was nothing there.

"It's gone! Thank goodness!" Robin said rubbing her leg. She told Robin about her dream after she told him about her first encounter with Red X. She told him how Red X appeared infront of her and is real. She knew he didn't believe her so she said for him to trust her. She also told Robin that Red X wanted her to come with him. Robin tightened his grip on the couch. She finally told Robin that Red X wanted her. She decided to leave out the bit where she put up herself for Robin.

Feeling her cheek, she confirmed her suspicions, Red X would be back.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Raven, for some time, didn't do much. They had three robberies and one hold up in the last week. Things seemed to be going in slow motion for her. Robin talked to her and asked whether she was OK regularly. She said she was fine. Her mind was on autopilot and for time, she couldn't stop thinking when Red X was going to come.

Her head was sore and she had tried meditating on the roof, but overlooking the water, it just reminded her more of Red X.

Her mind still hadn't completely considered what she would do when Red X came for her. Would she fight? Would she give in? Would she hide behind Robin miserably?

It was all too hard in Raven's opinion.

She sat on the couch and read a book while Beast Boy and Star played a game. They seemed to be coping and settling well. They looked happy and entertained. Raven was scanning her book but not really reading it. She couldn't help it, that's what she had been doing for sometime.

Her brain wasn't working, it seemed like her brain was having a fight with the rest of her body over whether to just forget about Red X or keep being on alert.

The siren went off that told the Titans there was a robbery or disturbance. Before Raven knew it, they were heading down town to see what was up. It was Overload, the electric monster powered by a chip. A computer chip.

"It's just Overload," Raven mumbled, sighing quietly to herself. She remembered the last time she said something along those lines, Slade came and reminded her that the End of the World was coming. That was quite discouraging.

Raven fought Overload with Robin, Beast Boy and Starfire. They won of course with not much of a battle.

When they easily threw Overload in jail, Robin suggested they go out for pizza. Raven was just eager to get home.

When they stopped at their usual pizza place, they all ordered their usual. Robin Pepperoni, Beast Boy their specially made Beast Boy Pizza which they put Tofu on and other ingredients, Starfire Supreme Pizza, and Raven Meatlovers Pizza, what Cyborg would share with Raven to tease Beast Boy with. When she ordered it, everyone went silent. They knew that that was what Cyborg would order to let Raven have a few pieces from.

Raven actually laughed while they were out. It was reasonably funny too, when the waiter came with the pizzas, Beast Boy swung out of his chair and hit the waiter which sent Raven's Meatlover's Pizza on his skin and clothes. He was disgusted by have meat on him. Raven was happy for a moment but then went back to her normal self when the waiter apologized about her pizza and that another one would come soon.

After their pizzas, the teen titans were heading home. Raven was walking with Robin as Starfire and Beast Boy were racing home.

"I figured out why Red X wants you," Robin said.

"Why?"

"Because he wants to have you. You are a gorgeous young woman, Red X wants to be with you."

"That's absurd!"

"No, think about it, Rae, when Cyborg… Red X tried to get your attention, it makes perfect sense that he wants you."

"No, that can't be because…" Raven was about to say that Red X first wanted Robin. Maybe he knew that that was the only way Raven was going to stick to the deal! Raven stopped in her tracks because of two things. One, she had just realised that Red X was a pervert, and two, that Red X was standing at the bottom of the hill, waiting.

Why would Red X kill Cyborg in cold blood to get her attention? He was defiantly DEFINATLY more that sick. He was psycho.

"Robin…" Raven said pointing to Red X. He was staring back up at her. Robin saw Red X too.

"Follow me," Robin whispered running the other way. Raven flew above him.

"Stay on the ground!" Robin hissed. Raven immediately lowered to the ground and caught up with Robin. She felt his hand grab hers. Robin speeded along pulling Raven with him. He was zig-zagging in and out of buildings.

Raven felt dizzy again.

"Oh no," Raven whispered.

Her mouth was beginning to get dry and her heels felt like they had turned into slop. Her bones were cracking, her teeth were tugging, her cheek was growing into darkness. Her knees were loose and weak. Her side had a stitch and her head was spinning. Raven knew what was going to happen. Red X was going to catch her and Robin. Robin! What if Red X gets a hold of Robin?

"Robin! Let go!" Cried Raven. She prayed that nothing would happen to him. Immediately, Robin let go and saw behind Raven, Red X.

"Raven run!" Cried Robin trying to grab her hand. Despite Raven's aching bones and sore… everything, she was crying rather than screaming. She was crying that she might not ever see Robin again. She was crying about her life ahead of her, a loveless, stupid life.

Robin saw Red X put a hand on Raven's shoulder. Robin and Red X's gazes met. Red X's mask and missing eyes on the mask where they should be. Robin's mask filled with nothing, no warmth or comfort. When their gazes separated Red X leant over to Raven and kissed her on her mouth. Raven broke away and then fell to the ground in pain. When Raven got the slobbery, worthless kiss, she felt the darkness that had disappeared before, return and spread over the lips. It was like there was a giant spider working its way through Raven's face, tearing skin and separating blood, muscles and nerves and veins. She felt like fainting again, but the pain kept her awake. Very awake.

Raven saw Robin swear at Red X and then try to kick him. Red X dodged and then gave Robin three punches with one strong kick to the side. Robin grabbed Red X's leg when Red X kicked him and twisted it round, forcing him to flip onto the ground. When Red X was on the ground Robin kicked and then dragged Red X up by his suit.

Robin continued to punch Red X, kick and do all the harm he could to Red X, meanwhile suffering some on his own. Raven with her powers picked up Red X and threw him against a wall. Raven got up straightening her jaw. Her limbs and joints didn't feel any better, but she ignored that. Raven threw Red X against the wall once more. Red X yelped in pain. Raven felt good after doing that but let Red X go and thought about what she just thought. She felt good after ramming someone against a wall? No. She won't turn into Red X, a cold-blooded killer. She couldn't. Raven saw Robin hold Red X.

"Finish him! Now!" Robin ordered shouting.

"I can't!" Raven said sobbing. She couldn't kill anyone.

"Then I will!" Robin removed a sharp, steel boomerang from his belt and jumped, kicking Red X to the wall. Out of shock, Red X didn't do anything. Robin half threw half forced the boomerang into Red X's chest. Red X screamed out in pain. A scream that could penetrate sound proof glass. Robin seemed to have masked himself and killed Red X right there. Blood poured along the pavement where Raven was standing. She could stand it. She had to leave. Raven flew away to the tower. Her tears floated down and became apart of the forever ocean. When Raven walked into the tower she went straight to her room avoiding questions from Beast Boy and Starfire. Raven ran into her room and with her powers stacked bookcases and chests up against the door so no one could come in. Raven felt dirty and unclean. She walked into her bathroom and washed her face and hands. Her hands were clean but on the inside rotten. Raven walked out to her bed and lay on it quietly sobbing. She tucked into a little ball where she went to sleep and woke up a whole twenty four hours later. She looked at her floor and bed. There were blood footprints. Raven knew that Red X was gone but she couldn't bring herself to get up. Raven soon got out of her cramped position. She had finally slept in two weeks. Her mind was still buzzing, but her limbs weren't numb, her knees were fin and her mouth was naturally fine. Raven shivered and walked outside to find Robin lying down out side her door asleep. Looking out of the corridor she saw it was dark. She sat down next to Robin for maybe an hour until he finally awoke. She was comforted just sitting next to him. She knew that Robin wasn't sick or psycho. She could feel Robin's warmth from there. Her head was resting against the wall and her head was soon being held against Robin's warm chest. She felt for once more in her life she was happy. Robin kissed her hair and stroked her cheek. Raven rested where they stayed there drifting to sleep on and off for what seemed like eternity.


End file.
